Do you Ever???

Here's the question...
Do you ever look at your kids and think... How in the Stars did you get so BIG???
Yesterday as we were hanging out with friends I looked over at Jaker and thought, holy cow you are HUGE!!!! Not just in size either. He is huge in spirit, in maturity, in intellect... he is getting so SMART!!!! I am so ultra proud of him!
Lastnight was of course the 4th of July. Anyone who knows my little Jaker knows he doesn't do well with Fireworks. When I say he doesn't do well, I mean... HE REALLY DOESN'T DO WELL! Last year we were in Steamboat Springs at a Rodeo for the 4th of July. The fireworks were AMAZING! Where was Jaker? Curled up in a ball in my lap, burying his face in my chest, head covered up with my sweatshirt (it was chilly), covered again with another layer of daddy's sweatshirt, all the while shaking in absolute fear, crying and just begging to go home.
This year... He did pretty good. Does he love fireworks. NOPE! Does he want to light them??? NOPE! Does he like watching the display in the sky??? That's is an absolute HECK NO!!! However, he did maintain composure. He was calm. He asked politely to leave, but didn't have a meltdown. He sat with dad or I and watched them, pointed out the colors, and overall observed the fireworks, for about 25 minutes... then he decided he was DONE! Huge improvements! I am so proud of him!
I look at both of the boys, and I am so proud of them. They are so much alike but so DIFFERENT too! They look alike, they like the same things (particularly any toy that the other child has in his hands at the moment) , they love their daddy like he is a SUPER HERO, and they love me too... most of the time! But at the same time their reactions to things are so opposite. Jokester has no problem with commotion. I honestly think he tries to cause it just to be funny. Jaker on the other hand... would prefer to have a quiet setting. Jaker gets heartbroken if you reprimand or discipline... Jokester thinks it is funny...
Moral of the story.... I definitely have my hands full!

A little Close and Personal...

It's been a while since I posted a whole lot. We are still here, I promise.
I'll be honest. I'm struggling a bit. I have decided to try to get off my "Happy Drugs." I have been taking medication for depression and OCD for nearly 9 years. I got off for a bit while I was pregnant with the Jokester, but after I had him, I went WACKO! I really struggled in the hospital, and BAM! Jumped right back on the medication. They don't do a whole bunch, mainly take the edge off. I am a little more pleasant, a little more patient, a little more easy going (I SAID A LITTLE !!!), but it doesn't make the whole world seem like roses! If I took more maybe it would though!
I hate being dependent on medication to handle emotions, and anxiety. It's almost like I feel weak for taking it. When you hear the statistics of how many people are on medication like me, it makes you wonder... Are there that many people with problems? or is it just an easy way out of dealing with reality????
When I first started taking the medication, I really did need it. I couldn't handle things, simple things like driving up the canyon, would send me over the edge. The anxiety was unreal! I was constantly begging Turtle to check the brakes. I washed my hands to the point they were raw. If I got a drink at the gas station, I couldn't use the first cup on the stand, I had to use the third or fourth, I mean what would happen if I got germs!!!! I couldn't bare to think of trusting Turtle to make the money... I had major control issues. MAJOR!
Fast forward to now. Do I still struggle? Absolutely. But not to the point I did before. I am on a 1/4 of the medication I was on before... and I have been for over two years. I don't think I am "CURED" by any means, but I think I am older now, and I am able to think things through a little more. I can usually think before I speak, I try to speak rationally when upset (I said TRY!) and I think I can manage life without medication.
So now, I am going through the motions of getting off. It STINKS! I mean that! IT REALLY DOES!!!! The withdrawal symptoms are TERRIBLE! It's Vertigo, times TEN! It feels like my brain is disconnected from my body. I am emotional, and edgy, and I just don't feel great. I try to go a few days without medication, then take it...etc etc. I am hoping that eventually the symptoms get better and I can go longer and longer without taking it... We shall see!

To the Pops....

This post comes a little late, but if any of ya know me, you know I am late for EVERYTHING!
We had a great Father's day weekend! Nothing too spectacular, but we spent time together as a FAMILY! That's always the best way to spend time in my HUMBLE opinion! Turtle spent a LOT of TIME working on the Deck outside and made tons of PROGRESS! (Don't worry neighbors... we can't see in your yard, I have heard that was a concern!) It looks PHENOMENAL! I should post pictures... and I will soon!
Sunday morning the kids and I got up and made daddy breakfast! It is so adorable how much my boys LOVE their DADDY! He is the ultimate super man to them. He is MR INCREDIBLE, SPIDERMAN and LIGHTNING MCQUEEN all wrapped into one! Can he get any better than that?
After church I went to visit my pops. I left the munchkins home (eventhough they REALLY wanted to come with). We have to be careful with Grampa... his immune system isn't all there, and he isn't in the best shape for coughing or being sick! It was great to visit with him. He continues to improve... he looks fabulous! He is up walking around, and still NOT SMOKING!!!! YAY DAD! It has been 22 days and he is still going strong! It's a tough habit to kick I am sure, but what can't GI JOE conquer!!!
In closing, I just have to say... thanks to all the pops in my life! Ya'll are WONDERFUL! and I love ya!

Too bold?

Would it be too bold to say,

My kids are the cutest kids ever!!!

I just had these pictures done of Jaker for his 5 year pics! He is such a little charmer!
I need to scan some pictures in of Jokester, but in the meantime...

Graduated??? REALLY???

Wednesday, we attended Jaker's graduation from Little Learners! Holy cow this year has flown by. It is amazing to see how much this little boy has learned! He has grown up so much! I am so proud of him! Before the passing out of certificates, all the children performed songs... they were songs from the 50's! Seriously, it was the cutest performance ever! Jaker loved every minute of it! I am telling you... that kid LOVES TO ENTERTAIN! (I secretly think he got that from his mother!)
I had so many favorite moments of his program, so I will just name a few!

• All the children walked on the stage one at a time. As they came on stage, each of them went to the microphone to introduce them self. Some were really shy, but not my Jaker, he talked right into the microphone and said, "My name is Jacob NADAULD!"
• He loved singing the song about the five power letters. He would shout out and over accentuate each vowel.
• He was waving between songs to his grammas. He even pointed out to his classmates.... "Look, there's my GRAMMA!"
• When each child went to get their certificates, the teacher, Miss Lani would say one thing about each child. She mentioned that Jaker had the hots for a little gal in his class. He was once overheard saying "SHE'S HOT!!!" (no he didn't learn that from me!)
• He was also crowned most improved student!

I am so proud of my little Jaker! He has made amazing progress! He works hard and is learning lots! I love ya little Jaker! Keep up the good work!

A dose of Reality...

I heard a story lastnight about a young boy. He was the eighth child of ten. He had eight sisters, and one brother. They grew up on a farm in the midwest. His father wasn't real close to the boy, and struggled with alcohol. The family was really poor. When I say poor, I mean, rationing food poor. In fact, his Mother would cook up a chicken, and each kid got a small portion of the chicken, but it wasn't ever much. Mom always got the breast, Dad always got the wishbone, etc. etc. Multiple times in this boy's life he was sent to live with his older siblings because his parents didn't have the money to support him.
The young boy in this story is my Dad. At supper lastnight, I had the opportunity to visit with my Dad, my Uncle, and my Aunts Joyce and Diane. Diane flew in from Kansas this week to help my Mumsy take care of GI Joe. My Aunt Diane and Uncle Bob (Dad's siblings) talked a bit about life growing up. Hearing more details of my dad's childhood really put things into perspective.
I was a spoiled child. I really had it good. I had two parents who loved me, A LOT. They supported me and my siblings in everything we did. We were always involved in extra activities like dance, organ lessons, singing, gymnastics, softball, track meets, musicals etc. They both tried very hard to be at every recital, program, performance etc. My Mumsy always made sure we had new clothes for school each year. We always had a Christmas. We always had birthday presents, a home, food on the table, and a bed to sleep in. How grateful I am!
I hope I never take that for granted, I hope I can teach my children how to appreciate what they have. They have a lot. Listening to my Aunt lastnight made me realize, I have taken a lot for granted. I am so GRATEFUL!

Prayers....

I feel it necessary to share my confirmation this past week. I have always had a strong faith in prayer. It has always worked for me. My first memory of prayer occurred when I was a young girl, maybe 10 or so, I remember being involved in the Nutcracker. My best friend Nicole was coming with my parents and I to see the big performance. We were messing around talking in my room, when all the sudden she discovered she couldn't find her money to get into the show. I remember we sat down and said a quick prayer that she would find it. We kept looking and looking, and I remember saying that maybe it was in her shoe. It was a random thought, but sure enough, that was where the money was. I remember that night... and many times since then that prayers have been answered for me. I'm not a huge spiritual giant. In fact, I am not real spiritual at all. I try to do the right thing, and I pray in my heart all the time. I read scriptures every now and then, and I do my best to stay focused at church, and learn what has been prepared.
But this week, I have to say, I know that God has heard my prayers. Truly he has. There is no doubt in my mind that He has. For instance, when I got the phone call on Tuesday morning.... I remained calm. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a calm person. Quite the opposite actually. But I was calm. I told myself, things are okay right now. Dad is still here, he is in a great hospital, and they will do whatever they can to make him whole again. Later in the day, got more news. It wasn't good, but once again, I had that reassurance, things were gonna be okay. Was I upset? ABSOLUTELY! But I prayed, in my heart that things would be okay. Jaker said a little prayer for Grampa. I told him Grampa had a broken heart, and Doctors were gonna fix it... we said a quick prayer. Jaker was at peace. He is only five, but boy that kid has a lot of faith in prayer... it's like he knows it's gonna be fine, because he prayed.
Fastforward to tonight.
I went to visit my Dad. Wow! He looks FANTASTIC! He is energetic. He is eating! He is feeling great! (considering the circumstances.) As I was visiting him, his boss and her husband came in. We all chit chatted. I visited with her and she told me about how there were so many people praying for my good pops. So many people had him in their thoughts! Wow! There are lots of people who care about my dad!
As I drove home, I thought about prayer. There were lots of different people praying for my Dad. All of which are different religions. I know his boss is Greek. His sisters are Jehovah Witness, and Methodist. I am LDS. My Mother is a spiritualist. My sister is Christian. My brother is as well. I am sure there is a whole plethora of different religions... but you know what... prayer worked! All different faiths, and they all prayed for one result, for my Dad to be healthy. I can't help but be amazed! There is so much power in prayer. I keep saying how lucky my Dad was. And he is lucky... but I am so certain that God had His hand in my dad's outcome. For that I am truly Grateful!